{"product_id":"corporate-translation-desk-mat","title":"Corporate Translation Desk Mat (12″ × 22″)","description":"\u003cp\u003eA \u003cstrong\u003efunny desk mat\u003c\/strong\u003e that finally translates the office into English. Styled like a spreadsheet and titled \u003cstrong\u003eCORPORATE → ENGLISH\u003c\/strong\u003e, it lines up WHAT THEY SAY against WHAT THEY MEAN: \"Per my last email\" means \u003cem\u003eplease read the email\u003c\/em\u003e, a \"quick sync\" is \u003cem\u003e45 minutes, no agenda\u003c\/em\u003e, and \"Happy to help!\" means \u003cem\u003eI am not happy\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTen phrases in all, from \"circling back\" (\u003cem\u003eyou ignored me, twice\u003c\/em\u003e) to \"hope this finds you well\" (\u003cem\u003eI need something\u003c\/em\u003e). Over in the mouse zone, one selected cell runs \u003cstrong\u003e=SUM(PATIENCE)\u003c\/strong\u003e and returns \u003cstrong\u003e#REF!\u003c\/strong\u003e. Funny for a week, useful for years: it keeps your keyboard, mouse and coffee mug from sliding around.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGift it for:\u003c\/strong\u003e white elephant (the funny-but-useful gift that gets stolen), Secret Santa, the coworker who signs off \"no worries if not,\" your boss, a new hire's desk, or a remote worker's home-office setup.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eDetails\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: 12″ × 22″ (30.5 × 55.9 cm)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFull-bleed print: white spreadsheet-style design with a black edge\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% polyester top\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnti-slip natural rubber base\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThickness: 0.12″ (3 mm)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHemmed edges\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank sourced from China\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping:\u003c\/strong\u003e Made to order for you. Free US shipping on orders of $35 or more.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"CLUB EBITDA","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67627146707078,"sku":"1615441_22326","price":35.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0638\/4779\/2774\/files\/desk-mat-black-12x22-front-6ac54548bddde.jpg?v=1791313238","url":"https:\/\/clubebitda.com\/products\/corporate-translation-desk-mat","provider":"CLUB EBITDA","version":"1.0","type":"link"}